cherubic little vultures
Wow. I just discovered the best tub cleaner probably on the planet. How this happened was I needed to take a bath but that tub was too dirty, I would climb in innocent zesty me and for sure climb out with bubonic plague or gangrene or something equally unglamorous. That tub had to be washed. But. I had no tub cleaning products. None. Which is why the tub was bad. You know how you know you need tub cleaning products every second of the day except the seconds you are in a grocery store that actually sells tub cleaning products? So you forget every time and then the tub is bubonic plague tub and you are too afraid of it to take a bath? This was my quandary but I had to take a bath and I could not do it in the health hazard tub. So I pirated cleaning products. You know all those cleaning products that are only for one purpose so you have two thousand dollars worth of cleaning products but not one designated tub friendly? (Cleaning products are more specialized than medical vocations.) But I studied labels and decided to live dangerously with Pro Formula 409 which I thought was just for kitchen stove cleaning but apparently not the label said bathroom friendly too so I sprayed it all over the tub and --
The tub came sparkley clean.
Immediately.
With no scrubbing.
Just like when they just spray and rinse in commercials like that actually works in real life only it never really does work in real life? It did here. With Pro Formula 409. Wow. Who knew?
(You should try this, it is like magic and will save your manicure yay!)
Meanwhile I am thinking about this writers' strike thing since it is looming and people will not stop talking about it so it is impossible not to think about even if I would rather not so tonight's thought (which is brought to you early because Monday is my birthday and I plan to be too hungover after Monday to write anything for a good long time) is:
CHERUBIC LITTLE VULTURES
I am on this bulletin board where huge debates are raging among unsold writers over whether or not they should sell a script during the writers' strike.
(For those outside the showbiz loop, you risk watching a whole lot of reruns every four years because every four years the screenwriters' union's contract with studios and T.V. networks comes due for renewal and the writers ask for a raise and the studios and networks say no way THAT WILL DESTROY HOLLYWOOD and then the writers all stop working till the studios and networks say "Okay we will give you this one thing which won't even make a difference now that you have lost six months to a year worth of pay but aren't you tired of this yet?" and the writers say "Yes just make it sound good so we don't look like goofballs for striking and not getting much of anything for it except REALLY BIG CREDIT CARD BILLS." That is the strike thing. And come May 1st, if everyone does not play nice and actually negotiate and reach reasonable agreements instead of yelling PAYING WRITERS WILL DESTROY HOLLYWOOD -- quit that you big fibbers sheesh -- you get to watch lots of reruns and writers get to starve for a while to prove nobody can actually direct blank paper in Hollywood though they sure would if they could. Fun, huh?)
Some unsold writers are saying, "Well if the union writers can't write we are in like Flynn right?"
While other unsold writers are saying, "We should support the union because it is fighting for writers' rights we should maybe be supportive of that."
And big fights break out and rage away about whether or not unsold writers should sell scripts during the strike. People get very excited. And I hear over and over "Is this strike going to be good for me?" Which I guess means "Gosh with the regulars all starving for writers' rights this is my chance." And also "If I don't scab during the strike what is the union going to give me for it?"
Jeez. What a bunch of whiny, selfish little vultures. "Me me me me me." "Give me, bribe me, buy me, how can I use the misfortune of others for me," over and over. It makes me tired so I stop reading those topics but in a day a new one pops up saying just the same thing, "me me me me me."
Okay. For the "it is all about me" kids, here is the scoop:
No Guild signatory is going to buy scripts from unknowns during a strike. Signatories are trying to stealthily manipulate -- er, I mean, negotiate with the union. Not piss the union off. And pulling a stunt like that would do more than piss off the union. It would piss off the union membership. Which is who really decides whether or not to ratify a contract. And is much easier to deal with when that membership is not united in a common cause.
See, signatories want to hire William Goldman and Shane Black and Nora Ephron and Callie Khouri and M. Night Shyamalan and David O. Russell and Bill Wittliff and Carrie Fisher and Elaine May and Stephen Gaghan and Jonathan Hensleigh and Aaron Sorkin and -- well I can not list the union membership here but it is pages and pages of blockbuster writing oscar winning scads of screen credits writers -- again one of these days soon more than they want to buy one script from you.
So, my cherubic little vultures, it ain't going to happen and you can stop fighting about it.
There. Don't you feel better now?
Love and Kisses,
Your Adams Girl
PS: Now would be a good time for everyone to say, "Dear God, no writers' strike today okay?"
PPS: There is site construction ahead nobody panick just keep your belts buckled and your arms inside windows at all times and it will be over in no time.
PPPS: Okay, this is so cool. A mystery digital camera arrived here from Earthlink and I was totally confused so I called them and said, "Hey, what is up with this camera?" And they said, "Oh that is a free prize from Earthlink for you, have fun." Wow.
