enter the bear
So I have been on the road and while I am on the road, this guy Martin Andrews [mandrews@no-moreaccent.com -- hey write him a letter he is friendly and likes mail lots, for sure that is why he has written me SO MUCH] has written me five letters. He wrote them back to back. One per day. For five days. You gotta give him credit. He is sure a tryer.
Martin has not been writing to the seemaxrun site boxes either. Martin has been writing to the WGA mentor box. [That is the box I get WGA mentor mail in and just him writing that box means he is ON PURPOSE targetting a WGA member who is allegedly a paid professional writer with English writing ability AND a person the Writers Guild of America thinks is qualified not only for membership, but also to give advice to other writers. Who knew?] And --
Here is Martin's letter's title:
Are YOU learning English...?
Um, yes, Martin. Thank God you wrote. Um. Five times. Maybe you can help me with this English language thing though that might be tricky and after we should write those kids at N.A.S.A. having trouble with math too. They can really use the help I bet as much as me and it is just the Christian thing to do.
Meanwhile --
The Bear has come to visit. The Bear does not have a name I just call him "The Bear" in caps. [Hey it works for me do not get fresh and if it does not work for you never fear Martin is on the job and will fix that in a jif.]
The Bear broke down the fence [I am not even sure bears notice fences] and wandered on in and now there are two big worries. One, that broken fence means little bambies can run amock through the nieghbor's vegetable garden. Me, I do not like vegetables I think they are unhealthy so vegetable garden forays are not a problem for me but --
Little bambies attract great big cats. Not Jones type cats. Big type cats. Like. Um. Two hundred pound mountain lion type cats. And that does not work for me. Also --
Bears are huge and can eat dogs and small cats and also small humans named max if they feel like it. Which could be a problem around here since we have dogs and small cats and small humans named max on the premises. Hmm.
Probably the bear has been here before. No one knows when that fence went down and there was a night here when something with pretty big claws smacked the glass door and was wandering around on the porch and I said, "No not the bear the bear would have opened the little fridge out there. Right?"
Um. No. Guess not.
This is all my fault too because before I caught that train to L.A. to go do all things Hollywood I had trash to take out and I knew I should take the trash down the mountain. Bagged trash is just bear bait. And when you live on a mountain, well, nice men in uniforms with nifty trucks do not pick up your trash, you have to carry it all out yourself because hello, you live in the woods. But I was in a hurry and too busy and took my chances and this time around, my chance card says "You lose Enter The Bear."
Oops.
Bears are real messy. I do not even think they floss and for sure they do not recycle. So when I got home I got to do a lot of shoveling of unfortunate [censored] trash items. and it would be nice if that was the last of it but --
Bears have good memories. They know where they got loot before. So The Bear will probably be back. Just to see.
Bears.
They are not just for breakfast anymore.
Love and Kisses,
Your "Just Say No To Smokey" Adams Girl
