red racer
So the other day I was going to the neighbor's, in a hurry, trotting down the porch stairs, straight into --
A snake.
I was going too fast forward to go backward too so basically I came to a dead stop with no way to go backwards out of strike distance not even in the time it was going to take that snake to gather and strike, thinking --
Fuck.
Knowing where it was going to hit the whole time, knowing there-goes-the-ankle, and looking for a rattle.
Time slows down when stuff like that happens. You can see everything real clear and know what is coming but everything is in slow motion you cannot get out of the way fast enough to stop something from happening --
But I was lucky.
It was not a rattlesnake. It was a red racer. Just as unhappy to have its sunny day spoiled as I was to run smack into its sunny day.
[I am real real lucky "walk slow in hot weather" is a lesson I just got the easy way.]
What is worse than running into Mr. Red Racer is, I yelled at someone real recently for saying the only reason I get bit by things is I am not careful. And then he made a joke about girls screaming when they see snakes and spiders and I got really mad and told him off for being a condescending jerk AND informed him I AM VERY CAREFUL and also I DO NOT SCREAM WHEN I SEE SPIDES OR SNAKES.
So after I ran into Mr. Red Racer and, um, screamed [oh the chagrin] I thought, Oh yeah, you are careful. Real careful. You just walked headfirst into a three foot snake in snake country. What was all that moonlight you were spilling about not screaming and being careful again?
So then I had to apologize but I did not mention the scream part because that is just too mortifying.
Later that day I met an alligator lizard inside the cabin. [Him, I had to wrestle into a box to take outside.] So I guess all the reptiles are loving the sudden sun. And last Thursday, the guys found the first rattlesnake of the season on the ranch. It was a big rattlesnake, or big to me anyway, and it was still moving after its head was gone.
Sometimes I really think I should go back to the city. But then I wake up in the morning and look out the wall window at the little creek and all the oak trees and wild flowers and think, I do not have to go back to the city. I just have to, um --
Never step foot outside the cabin again.
[Yeah. That will work.]
Love and Kisses,
Your Red Racer Adams Girl
