mom was right -- once
My hand
is peeling. I eye it. Why would my hand be peeling? I have not been out
in the sun really, I have not burned myself --
Oh. Wait. There was that "battery acid" incident.
I thought battery acid was just made up by my mother to terrorize me right before she made me go take batteries out of things. My mother is like that. She always told stories that were all sort of about terrorizing you. Like, she would tell a story about Eskimos eating their young when they ran out of food. "They were very sorry to do it, they did not want to kill, butcher, cook, and eat their children, but it was a practical thing, they could survive without the children and have more children, the children could not survive without them." Then she would go into the kitchen and say, Gee, we are out of food here and there is no money to buy more, what will we do? [Gee, I dunno Mom, am I on the menu tonight?] Or she would tell a story about a kid who got kidnapped and another kid got left in the kid's place, but, nobody really liked the kid who got kidnapped -- who, oddly, always sort of looked like me -- and everyone really liked the new kid the kidnappers left behind, so the parents did not want the kidnapped kid back too bad for the kid no one loved or wanted. Then she would say, Gee, there has been this stranger loitering on our block watching kids I wonder what is up with that?
That is my mother.
So it is not surprising she would tell stories about people being hideously maimed by battery acid and then say, Say I think it is time to change the batteries in that appliance go do it, wow it is too bad we do not have any rubber gloves that might stop battery acid from hideously maiming or scarring someone.
And it is not surprising I would figure "battery acid" was totally made up just to add a little drama to changing appliance batteries. I mean. I have never actually seen battery acid or any evidence of battery acid's existence ever before and did not really believe in "battery acid."
But.
There I am taking batteries out of a gadget [not a sex toy you pervs] and the little part that snaps open has some liquid on it on the inside and I am thinking, That is weird, where did that come from? Were my hands wet? [I have a sporadic thing with wet hands because I compulsively wash them, it dates back to the food service industry days, do not ask.] And trying to wipe it off, and thinking, hmm, this liquid spot is sort of shaped like a battery. And I find more inside the gadget and ON the batteries I just knocked into my hand and I am thinking, This is really weird, gee, I hope this is not "battery acid," ha ha Mom --
When my hands get really mad really fast anywhere this stuff has touched them like they want to be RINSED OFF AND RIGHT NOW DAMMMIT.
Wow. Battery acid. Who knew?
Okay. I have to say this. I do not want to say it. Really I totally do not want to say it. But. Honor compels me. "Mom was right. "
There. I said it.
I still
know that kidnapped kid story is an O'Henry story though Mom so do not
get too frisky about this.
Love
and Kisses,
Your Still Not Hideously Maimed or Scarred Adams Girl
